niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

slothtier:

I LITERALLY WAS JUST HOPING FOR THE DAY THAT POKEMON WOULD ALLOW YOU TO PERSONALIZE YOUR CHARACTER SINCE LIKE SECOND GEN AND NOW THAT DAY IS UPON US I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO THINK

314eater:

me every morning

peaceloveandbrittana:

skateon-and-keepcalm:

dancegabiedance:

superwholockgarfield:

lukespenisnose:

stylinstopit:

chamberofstylinson:

rumour:

I HATE PEOPLE WHO CLAP WHEN THE PLANE LANDS

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CLAP WHEN THE MOVIE ENDS

I HATE PEOPLE

WHY ARE WE SCREAMING

BECUASE WE HATE FUCKING PEOPLE

BUT FUCKING PEOPLE IS FUN

WELL I WOULDN’T KNOW THAT BECAUSE I HAVEN’T FUCKED ANYONE

this is like a really intense poem

just-laff:

unexotic:

snorlaxatives:

my favorite character from lilo and stitch was ruben because he was just like stitch just fatter and lazier and all he did was make sandwiches

does anyone remember that game on disney.com where u helped him make a sandwich i think everyone played that

i played the shit out of that game

bootycaller:

who wants to give up on society and go live in a treehouse with me

kyliehilton:

babyferaligator:

i bet the teachers talk shit about us to other teachers

one time in the hallway i walked past my english teacher and a councelor and the councelor goes “I just wanna punch that kid in the fucking face god dammit”

a-ttitude:

ʷʰʸ      ʷʰʸ             ʷʰʸ

       ʷʰʸ            ʷʰʸ       ʷʰʸ      ʷʰʸ

   ʷʰʸ         school tomorrow   ʷʰʸ

         ʷʰʸ            ʷʰʸ

alltheangst:

jackbassam:

When I have the sex talk with my kids I’m just going to tell them to follow the basic rule

“If your age is on the clock, you’re too young for the cock”

yeah, and when my kid turns thirteen imma go,

“Sit back down, I was talking about military time.”